LOVE IS A PRIMARY NEED

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


Did You Know...?
        
...... feel good chemicals are released in the brain through loving interactions.

....... families and cultures that express warm physical affection have fewer issues with anger and aggression.

..... Researchers who examine the life histories of children who have succeeded despite many challenges, have consistently found that these children have had at least one stable, supportive relationship with an adult early in life.


It is valuable to realize how much the brain has to do with relationships and the love we experience in our lives. Love is one of our primary needs throughout our lives. 

Warm, responsive care-giving not only meets a child's basic day-to-day needs, but is also about responding to the emotional needs of children. Predictable and loving responsiveness is not only comforting, it plays a vital role in optimal mental health. The way that parents, families and other caregivers consistently relate and respond to young children, directly create influences learning and relationships later in life. 

This all begins in infancy but does not end there. This is why I love to share the writing of Mark Brady, Ph.D. on what he calls, "Big Brain Question". Below are some pieces from his contributions on this topic.


The healthy brain is an anticipation-prediction machine. When we operate in environments where there is little predictability and we have little idea what to anticipate from one moment to the next, chronic stress results.

There’s ONE question that all brains want answered, and they want it answered, “Yes.” Parent’s brains, children’s brains, all brains. And they don’t want a lukewarm “Yes,” or a “Maybe Yes” or a “Getting-to-Yes Yes.” They want a substantial, resounding, unequivocal, “YES!” Yes. When the answer is something other than “Yes.” if the answer is “Maybe,” or “I’m not sure,” a confusion and uncertainty begins to take shape in our brains.

The Question our brains ask is …… Are you there for me?
Do I matter enough that you’ll put me first when I need you to? Can I count on you to attend to me in the ways I need you to? Do I truly and deeply matter to you?

These questions are being asked – non-verbally through behavior often, and when they get answered “Yes,” we can relax and begin to feel safe in our relationships. The self-preservation structures of the brain continually monitor our environment and the people in it for safety. Our survival depends upon it. We generally love the people we feel the safest being around, and the emotional responsiveness often identified as love arises out of this safe “felt sense.” 

My dream is for all children to grow with this
loving safe and secure experience!



The impact loving interactions can make on a child’s growing brain, is one of the primary reason I developed The Brain Development Series, You can purchase brain packets in English or Spanish.
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