YOUR BABY SAYS: "I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS!"

There are so many things to think about as a parent or care provider of an infant or toddler. But there is one thing that makes life easier for you and better for the baby. When you stop to see things through the baby’s eyes, or think about how you would feel in the same situation, and then tell the baby that you understand, it helps… A LOT! 

This is a perspective babies would so love for you to know:

“Throughout the day there are SO many different emotions I feel. The thing is my brain is to immature to have the ability to deal with all of these feelings on my own. Because you are my parent or caretaker I SO need to you to help me with all I feel and it feels so good when you do!

Even though it may not seem like it, I do understand more about what is going on than you may realize. All that takes place throughout our day together creates 

many different emotions for me.

Do you know what is the absolute best feeling of all for me?

When you notice and acknowledge things from my perspective, it feels so good. When I hear you share that you understand, it feels so incredibly wonderful.

I love when you respect me as a real person.

Even though at times it may seem that I may not be affected by things going on in our life, this really is not true. My brain is designed to learn through interacting with the world and the people in my life. So, I pick up on everything. My brain actually tunes in on the emotional atmosphere within seconds. Even seeing you frown can easily impact my brain and my mood."

"I realize sometimes it is not always easy for you to see things from my perspective, but what I would love most is for you do to all you can to try. 

Then when you see things in this way, and then tell me that you understand, it feels so extremely comforting!

It so warms my heart, calms my brain and relaxes me to have you express that you realize and address how I am feeling. Through these caring interactions you are helping my brain begin to make the pathway connections for learning to deal with emotions."

Ava Parnass, a baby/child psychotherapist loves helping parents to start developing, Emergent Emotional Intelligence, in their babies. I am pleased that Ava has collaborated with me on this post to share valuable insights for contributing to a child's healthy emotional development. 

Every child is born with an emotional thermostat that can be developed, built up or broken down. At first emotions are expressed by crying, giggles, squirms, smiles, eye twinkles , turning away, etc., and then by behavior. As children mature it is important for adults to role model and help kids to develop the ability to regulate their emotions with words so they start to recognize and address their feelings underneath their behavior.   

One Example from a Baby's Perspective

“When I am strapped into a seat and cannot move or explore, I feel very restrained and frustrated. Please, understand this is not a good feeling for me and it really feels good when I feel you know that. Empathy can be felt and understood by me and it helps me deal with my emotions"

Things Grown-ups can Say

“I know it is so hard to sit in your seat when you want to move!  (Expressing Empathy) 

"I imagine you would rather be held or play." (Becoming a baby detective: What emotions is your child's crying, mood or behavior expressing?)

“I know it’s frustrating. Maybe you feel trapped or confined.” (Label and identify the potential feeling)

If the baby is still crying ...

You could say, "I am so sorry, you are stuck in the car seat.”  Use a soothing voice despite how anxious the crying can make you. (Empathy expressed again)

 "I’m sorry, but I need to strap you in to keep you safe and protect you."  (Explanation of why you are doing something comes after empathy)

 "I know it’s hard to wait to play or be held! Let's take a break from the car seat for a few minutes, I see you are getting squirmy! Oh my, you have been in it for 30 min already!" (Realizing the perspective of the baby again)

"As you get older waiting gets easier." (Starting to assist in the development of patience, resilience and emotional intelligence)  

"We can play again later."  Time feels like forever to babies and toddlers. (Provide hope)

Ideas For You

1. Role playing any activity can pave the way for adjusting to transitions. But, don't lose hope if role playing does not show immediate success. It may not work right away, but it has a lot of value as your child develops the ability to adjust to new situations.

 2. Play with the car seat in the house so the baby can get used to going into it. With very brief periods of fun play, the child learns it’s not just a 'jail'!

3. Make sure the baby gets enough activity, play, kisses and interaction before they get in the car seat.

4. Talk to the baby in a way that you'd like to be spoken too. Keep repeating a few times in a soft voice, "I know sometimes it can be hard to sit in the car seat. I'm sorry that it's frustrating. We can cuddle and play when we get out of the car.”

5. Make a car seat game. Instead of (I'm going to chase you) try instead, “I'm going kiss and cuddle you while I buckle you in."

6. Have a favorite toy or stuffed animal in car. And add new ones to explore and attract attention. In additional to things that are comforting and familiar, babies brains also love to learn and explore new things.

7. If you are not the person driving, read books or do finger plays with the baby.  Try fun ideas from brain development activity packets or Love Your Baby App. 

8. Use a soothing voice and sing to or play music to help calm the baby. Or use fun songs and music to entertain the baby.

9. Long trips generally need lots of feeding, play, cuddles and movement breaks depending on the age of your child and their temperament.

10. Some babies are okay being in their coat others need less restriction, so warm up the car or bring a blanket!

 It sometimes is quite amazing how simply letting your baby know that you understand how they are feeling, can make a remarkable difference! Hopefully these insights and tips bring you and the baby in your life great enjoyment of time spent together!

  

 

This post was co-authored with: Ava Parnass ~ Listen To Me Please.com

Ava Parnass, a.k.a. “The Kid Whisperer,” is an author, songwriter and child therapist who specializes in marrying Entertainment, Emotional Intelligence and Time-In not Time-Out for kids. Ms Parnass helps kids figure out how they feel through playing, talking, listening, reading, singing and dancing.
Her multi-media materials, books and songs encourage parents and  kids to read and sing along, in the process learning how awareness of  feelings “Emotional Intelligence” improves problems and behavioral issues.  Parenting is a hard job and the books and songs really help kids and parents put a finger on what is bugging them and change it.

Rainbows of Fun!!

Rainbows instill a feeling of happiness and fun!!  Of course fun and happiness is something we want for the children in our lives! Fun and happiness of course positively contributes to less stressed and healthy, learning brains.

In a post for the Pre K and K Sharing blog I have shared a rainbow of needs for children. You can enjoy it here:

Over the Rainbow: 8 Essential Needs of Developing Brains (click here)

 I have created a post of a RAINBOW of needs all children want all adults to know. This rainbow leads to something better than a pot of gold at the end and it doesn’t depend on luck!  Having these eight needs met will contribute to a happy life with a healthy and well developed brain!  (The scarecrow could have used these early in his life!) 

Winning terrific toys also leads to 

fun and happiness! 

 

 

Announcing the winners of the  

Soft Blocks Give Away!

 

Stacy Miller

&

Gena Barnhart

These winners will each win a set of Soft Blocks

  (click here to learn more & order your own set!)

 

 Congratulations!!

Thank you to everyone who entered!

 

For additional fun.... Did you know there is a movie being made focusing entirely on the importance of PLAY?

 Enjoy watching this trailer: 

 

SERIOUSLY: A Movie About Play!  

(Click here to view and enjoy)

 

 

For ideas for ways to have fun with children while waiting in line, at the grocery store, while waiting for an appointment or anytime during your busy life grab one of the rainbow colored brain development packets out of your pocket and create happiness!

 

Have a VERY fun day!

 

 

Like Toys? Good News To Report!

It is quite frequent that I am asked, “Which toys promote brain development best?”. Many parents also inquire about DVD’s and programs to teach babies to read. My response always is, “Loving interaction and play with real objects is what a developing brain needs most.”

So what I recommend is to avoid buying expensive electronic toys and DVD/flashcard programs, and look instead for toys that really are best for children. The type of play and toys that support the best learning are ones that provide opportunities to, create, explore, use imagination, manipulate in various ways and encourage movement. When these activities are driven by a child’s own interests this is when you will almost be able to see brain connections being made!
 

This is where the good news comes in. When attending Toy Fair 2013 in New York, I experienced a welcome surprise. As enthusiastic as I was about attending, I also anticipated feeling frustration. My expectation was that I would see several toys that were not designed with a developing brain in mind.

But, I experienced just the opposite. I am thrilled to let you know, there were numerous companies exhibiting toys that are very beneficial for growing brains! Some of the criteria I use to determine if a toy or activity is best is if does at least one of the following:

· Provides an opportunity for direct interaction and manipulation
· Gives a child a chance to develop something with their hands
· Offers a variety of ways of using the toy or objects
· Sparks imagination and creativity
· Allows the child to repeat a process
· Promotes physical activity

 

It was a pleasure attending Toy Fair with two extraordinary women who have extensive knowledge and experience in the toy industry. Dena Quilici is a talented toy designer who previously worked with Playskool. Cheryl McCarthy who was an innovator with Hasbro, and is now a writing partner with Gill Connell of Moving Smart.  

(The new book from Gill and Cheryl is one, I can not be more enthused about being released this Fall!)

It was terrific to see the show through the eyes of Dena and Cheryl and to benefit from their expertise. Following the show they shared this great article, New York Toy Fair 2013, which expresses many of the same thoughts I had about many of the 2013 toys focusing on brains.

As a result, for your benefit, I have created...

A Virtual Toy Fair for You! 

Through the links below you can visit some of the companies that are a GREAT pleasure to highlight. 

 

AND…. 

 Soft Blocks is graciously donating 2 sets of their wonderful products as a give away for you!!!

Simply comment below  or send an email  if you would like to be entered in the drawing for 1 of the 2 sets being given away! Enter by March 8th!

 __________________________________________________________

These are SO GREAT! It is so fun making parents and educators aware of this terrific new toy! 

Soft Blocks (Click to learn more)

 

 SOFT BLOCKS are unique interlock blocks for children 3 & older that help foster problem solving skills and constructive building techniques.

Children instinctively respond to the soft material which also makes playing ouch-free; no need to worry about stepping or sitting on SOFT BLOCKS as they will just softly bend and squish!

Unlike small hard plastic building blocks which little fingers can have a hard time snapping together and prying apart; SOFT BLOCKS fit together and come apart with ease.

Sold in a set of 36 blocks in four primary colors of red, blue, yellow, and green, the building possibilities are endless.

_________________________________________________________

This game is receiving a great amount of deserved attention and enthusiasm! And I am thrilled about it.

Flip2BFit (Click to learn more)

 A new and exciting way to jump, stretch and twist your way  to a healthier happier lifestye!!! 

Flip2BFit® the exciting new kid’s fitness board game where you compete, build team spirit and individual goals while stretching, jumping and twisting your way to Springers’ Park!!!  Looking for an easy, interactive way to teach your children about healthy eating options? With Flip2BFit you can increase their physical fitness levels without them even knowing it! Whether you’re building strength, increasing cardio or stretching out to a few yoga poses, you will find Flip2BFit® the most fun you’ve had playing a board game.  Working to prevent childhood obesity one exercise at a time Flip2BFit is this generations answer to Fitness made Fun!

Flip2BFIT has also earned a honor of a Perfered Product Award from Kidlutions! 

________________________________________________________________

It is probably obvious that Brain Insights would be enthused about Educational Insights isn't it!?

 

Educational Insights (click to learn more)

 "Engage Minds, Inspire Discovery!    

It may sound simple, but this is our driving philosophy at Educational Insights."

________________________________________________________________

You can actually feel the love through this company! I think you will love it as much as I do! 

 

Tiny Love (Click to Learn More)

Tiny Love is an award-winning international baby products company that creates stimulating developmental toys and products which encourage babies' growth and development.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Entirely brain focused!  Of course I wanted to share this one too!

Fat Brain Toy Company (Click to Learn More) 

"The Fat Brain Toy Co. was formed to develop creative, mind-expanding toys, games and gifts for the specialty toy industry.

The company has developed a number of critically-acclaimed products." 

 ______________________________________________________________

 

 Hopefully you have enjoyed exploring all of these great companies that are providing so many positive ways to develop healthy learning brains!!

Have fun shopping and playing ...

and don't forget to post a comment or send an email by March 8th 
to win 

a set of Soft Blocks!!

How Long Have We Known What Is Essential To Healthy Development?

It is quite frequent that I ask the question…  

“Why is it that we know what a developing brain needs, but with increasing frequency too many children are experiencing the opposite?” 

There are numerous scientific research studies that provide evidence of what is needed for a child’s healthy development.  These of course are things I write and speak about every day. I, along with many other professionals, share information about the importance of play, nutrition, sleep, time in nature, and physical activity.

Today I picked up a book that I have had on my bookshelf for awhile. In flipping through it, I found the following statements:  

  

“Play, is the development of the human mind, its first effort to make acquaintance with the outside world. The child indeed sees no purpose in it, sees not the end that is to be reached; but it expresses its own nature, and that is human nature in its playful activity.” 

Additionally, it goes on to say…

“It is the duty of every teacher, whether in city or country, to impress upon pupils, by emphatic iteration, the laws of health in relation to food, air, sleep, rest, exercise, play, work and personal habits in general. Teachers should give attention to the encouragement of games, play and amusement.”

“It is a mistaken notion of some pedagogues that the chief end of children is to go to school and study lessons from books. It is painful to witness, in many schools, how the plastic, growing bodies are cramped, how natural impulses are repressed, how the laws of nature are systematically violated. Physicians know this, though teachers and parents shut their eyes to the painful facts.”

Are you surprised to find out that these statements were published in, 

Methods of Teaching by John Swett .......

in 1883!!!!!?

We have known what is best for children's healthy development and learning for at least 130 years. And, now due to technological advances, we even have scientific evidence to show us what is best for young growing bodies and brains. It is no longer only based on theory and behavioral studies, and we are still having to promote, educate and advocate for children to get all of what they need most!!......

Let's ensure this changes NOW!!! 

I invite you to share insights frequently to make this important information finally become common knowledge 

and common practice. 

The children are depending on us!

  __________________________________________________________________

Brain Development Activity Packets   
Have fun interactive learning ideas right on hand to entertain and help young brains develop in the healthy ways they deserve!
There is one for parents of each age from Birth up through age 5! 
(English and Spanish) 

Also available are 
 Brain Packets  
for dedicated Early Childhood Educators through  
Redleaf Press